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The Way We Really Are

Coming To Terms With America's Changing Families

Contributors

By Stephanie Coontz

Formats and Prices

On Sale
May 9, 1998
Page Count
256 pages
Publisher
Basic Books
ISBN-13
9780465090921

Price

$19.99

Price

$25.99 CAD

Format

Trade Paperback

Format:

Trade Paperback $19.99 $25.99 CAD

With a historically informed perspective, this classic book illuminates how every type of modern family—even the “nontraditional” ones—can find strength and success.

“Coontz’s book should offer reassurance to people in every kind of family muddling through every stressful stage.” ―New York Times 


Stefanie Coontz offers a guide to the causes and consequences of today’s family trends, demonstrating that a historically informed perspective can be as helpful in sorting through many family dilemmas as going into therapy and much more help than listening to today’s political debates. Every kind of family, Coontz shows, has strengths that can be fostered and vulnerabilities to be avoided. Stepfamilies, dual-earner couples, single-parent families, and divorced but cooperative families all operate in different ways, but with the right economic, cultural, and social support systems, all incarnations of the family can succeed.

Called “brilliant and invariably provocative” by the New York Times and “a treasure” by the Los Angeles Times, Stephanie Coontz has emerged as one of our preeminent social historians. The Way We Really Are will change the ways families think of themselves and their futures. 

  • “Coontz’s book should offer reassurance to people in every kind of family muddling through every stressful stage.”
    New York Times
  • “Dr. Coontz’s unparalleled ability to put our angst over families into a deep and compassionate context makes this a worthwhile read.”
    Wall Street Journal
  • “A virtuoso performance.”
    Women's Review of Books
  • “Coontz’s refreshingly grounded perspective encourages the development of a broader social intelligence that would enable us to move beyond, for example, simpleminded scapegoating of the single welfare mother, coming up with social policies that truly assist more of us in improving our lives.”
    Kirkus Reviews
  • “Meticulously researched and annotated, this coolly reasoned study defines the way we live today, tells us how to make the most of what we have, and offers no easy solutions.”
    Publishers Weekly
  • "I recommend this book to anyone who is concerned with the state of the American family or who is in one."
    Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
  • “This principled and passionate book deserves to be read and heeded.”
    Ellis Cose, author of The Envy of the World
  • “On questions concerning the contemporary family, there is no authority I trust more than Stephanie Coontz. She provides evenhanded analysis of the most hotly contested issues of our day in a work that is a pleasure to read.”
    Deborah Anna Luepnitz, author of Schopenhauer's Porcupines
  • "You'll like this book. It tells you...that you're really okay and doing the best job you can."
    Linda Ellerbee, journalist

Stephanie Coontz

About the Author

Stephanie Coontz is a member of the faculty of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, and the director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families.

Learn more about this author